i have returned to mother's warm embrace of the end of Neocities, nay everything.
the flame of the world is chemical. It's exceptionally dark these days. The sun is so loud and bright these January's. Haven't seen snow in too long.
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It's like a nervous excited anxiety and dread, hope is. That it could be better, that there is enough of humanity to right itself.
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
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She's twenty years old here, if you can believe that. Go on, mouse over her. She hasn't chased a mouse in years.
I barely sleep. I'm having a hard time with substances and routine. I dont seem to be alone with this. It's quite bleak, but there's always so much to do. So much to make and be about. Earth is still a really beautiful place, even when it feels like it hates you.
There's a comfort here, a nostalgia. I haven't coded like this since I was a child. There's an electricity here. I drive a manual car that I really love. It feels like that.
Not really much of an advantage to these old things, but there's a surety to the tactile closeness of having to do things yourself. I learned what SaaS was and i felt like i was melting. i never had a future in these old things,i hope these words age like milki just want to put my fingers to keyboard like the old days...
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Maybe this whole thing gives me comfort in an increasingly uncomfortable world. A neurotic sort of thumb-sucking. But it is so pleasing, to relearn these ways.
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I think I will. Walk with me if you like. But don't let me tell you what to